Just Because

Just because you got distracted, does not mean that you are ADD.
Just because you are organized, does not mean that you are OCD.
Just because you feel upset, does not mean that you are depressed.

Just because you are ignorant to the significance behind your words, does not mean you are not responsible.

Walking the Talk

This is a bit different from what I have previously posted on this blog. It is a snippet taken from an essay I had to write for one of my classes. Like is already said, it is not like my other "published" work, but I felt moved to share it somehow. This is a blog of writing after all, who knows what form it will take next?

Christians today are forced to deal with the fear that accompanies witnessing to nonbelievers. While it can be intimidating to talk to strangers about one’s faith, it is terrifying to speak to friends and family about what one believes. This seems illogical; as a Christian, they should be overcome with the joy of God and delighted at the opportunity to share that joy with others. Yet in a world that pegs Christians as close minded Republicans with more concern for themselves than the hurting, many know not the first step to take in sharing their faith, especially without offending someone.

In coming to college, I left behind many friends from high school that do not know Christ. In this time away from them, I worry that the paths they find themselves heading down will lead them to pain and confusion, all the while distancing themselves even farther from God. Four people specifically come to mind. I feel, to some extent, that it was my fault that they do not have a relationship with God. While at a public high school there are limitless opportunities to reach out to the lost and hurting. These individuals hit me harder because they were not people I had to reach out to. They were by my side all the time. I claimed to believe in God. I even led a ministry on campus. Yet I never had a serious conversation with them about what they believed. While my faith was not a secret to them, I feel like it should have been a larger part of how I identified myself. I restrained God’s presence in my life to a compartment that could be released when convenient. This blighted my ability to truly care for these friends because true love comes from God. I regret not being a better example to them.  

At the summer camp I work at, we talk often about planting seeds. The fruition of people’s faith is not always for us to behold, even if we are the ones praying for them and doing our best to lead them to Christ. It is easy to twist evangelism to serve a purpose of self-gratification, even more so when it is your job. To keep each other’s hearts in the right place, we use this representation as a source of comfort and foundation for our efforts. Basically, it means that God has a timing that is different from ours; He has a way of working things out at exceptionally brilliant times. To extend the metaphor, we are sometimes planting seeds, fertilizing the ground, watering the soil, even scouting land for a seed to one day be planted. We do not always get to see the seed grow into fruit. It is incredibly difficult to pour into someone’s life and see no change. As challenging as it is, we are forced to give it up to God to take care of. His plan and His timing are beyond our level of understanding.

I am forced to wonder if these friends were seeds that I was watering or if I was standing by the field expecting something to happen while doing nothing to contribute to the culmination of their growth. On the subject of witnessing to peers, Christian teen culture often says that people will know that we are Christians by our actions. We have devised a safe little comfort net that says non-Christians will be so impressed by how we respond to the world that they will have no choice but to ask what is different about us. The idea is that the secret Christians can then share the gospel in a safe, controlled environment on their turf. The system as a whole is flawed due simply to the fact that none of us will ever be perfect. We will mess up. We will fail. People will see that, and write us off as no different than themselves. It relies solely on our ability to show the world a polished exterior. It has become, to a point, a huge issue of pride. The sentiment that our actions are important does hold truth. I have no claims against the importance of following the Bible’s instructions for outward living. Kindness, understanding, and humility should be poured out to everyone we meet and interact with. This can prove to be a challenge in and of itself. The issue I have is when the idea that our actions are important is replaced with the thought that our actions alone have the power to save lives.

Buying into the thought that our faith will be represented solely by our actions has incredible repercussions that are often unnoticed until serious harm has occurred. The most obvious is that the very people that we are hoping to nonchalantly witness to without offending never truly get ministered to. Because we as a collection are too afraid to step on someone’s toes, it is as if we are not even there. Christianity is bold. It is offensive. It hurts many. But the healing that it brings is quite literally the best news that exists. People do not deserve the good news. For that matter, neither do we as Christians. But we have it. Why do we stop ourselves from sharing it? This by no means equivocates that we can be crude in our actions and words. It is a responsibility of ours to respect others, particularly those that are different because it is harder. This, nevertheless, means that we should be spreading the life everywhere we go.

The longer we hide this life, the weaker it becomes. If our fear of these conversations blights the discussions from happening, then we lose a bit of the spark we had. Refusing to stand up for what we believe, for what it is true, deteriorates that very cause in our minds. Soon, apathy runs rampantly through our hearts because we have trained ourselves that way. Our fear governs our being.

In my life, I see the source of this fear coming from two specific places: insecurity in the certainty of what I believe, and anxiety regarding rejection. My doubt in the inevitability of God’s presence often impairs my ability to witness to others because I fear spreading a message I cannot fully stand behind. When I feel God’s presence in my life, it is easy to point to Him and encourage others. Often, however, I feel as though my actions are a result of what is expected rather than as an act of worship. This causes me to freeze. It would be hypocritical to inspire others to pursue something I half-heartedly agree with. Even more so, I dread the chance that in announcing my belief, others will box me into a definition of Christian that they already have. Christians are not as highly regarded as one might expect if everyone perfectly lived out the standards they held themselves to. This, however, is partially ludicrous. After all, our standard is the perfection manifested in Christ Jesus. None of us will ever obtain this level of servant hood, but that should never stop us from pursuing it.

My challenge is to actively live out what I claim to believe. I will deepen this task by speaking out what I claim to believe as well. No longer will I depend on action alone. Through prayer and authenticity, hearts can change. Apathy and fear can attack so viciously. I will surely fail, as I have countless times. I will have to depend on God to provide an untouchable joy.

The Battle of Three

There is the person I show.
There is the person I hide.
There is the person I am.

And finally, there is the person I am called to be.

I’m still figuring that last one out.

Aware

To be still is to be aware.
From this sense of awareness, clarity is achieved as meaning is contemplated.
In this heightened glimpse of focus, attachment is born and sentimentality is brewed.